What Can I Do If My Kid Is Getting Bullied?

Bullying is not a new phenomenon of the recent years, but has been present from time immemorial, in schools all over the world! Weather it involves physically hurting someone or persistent social humiliation, bullying has enduring effects on children. As a parent you may be wondering, “How can I distinguish between peer-conflict and bullying?” You can understanding the difference by the fact that peer conflict is normal and healthy part of friendship but, bullying is not normal and can thwart the natural development of a child.

Bullying behavior is distinguished by three factors: Firstly, there should be a continuous misuse of power; secondly, it has to take place in the context of a relationship, and thirdly, it causes harm on the victims. If you see a drastic change in their mood, behaviour and energy, this would be the first warning signal.

One important fact to consider is that there is certain type of bullying which can be overlooked because it isn’t noticeable to most people; this is known as ‘Covert bullying’. Covert bullying involves damaging another’s social reputation, social intimidation, exclusion, peer relationships and self-esteem. It becomes tricky because the child is not always able to know whether they are being bullied or not, since there is visible evidence. This can make them feel isolated as their struggle isn’t acknowledged and their bully gets away with it. Covert Bullying is unfortunately dismissed or normalized as a “part of the school life” which prevents the problem from being addressed. As a parent if you would like to address this issue, the most helpful thing you can do as a parent to educate your child about bullying. Here are two ways you can do so:

1) Tell your child about the secret power of bullies

Bullies often operate from a place of power. They assume they are superior because they possess and advantage and uses it to mistreat the disadvantaged. They may have access to resources such as weapons, social support, money, information, technology etc. or also may be due to personal qualities such as physical attractiveness, strength, eloquence, social charm etc. If you can build the necessary confidence in your child to not fall for this trick of bullies, you’ve won half the battle.

2) Train your child to disarm the bully

Bullies are reinforced by the reactions they induce on their victims. Strong emotional reactions such as fear or rage are a result of when one’s self-worth is questioned. Empower your child by affirming that self-worth is not dependent on possessions; this fact applies to them and the bully. Having a strong sense of self-worth will automatically discourage bullies from targeting your child.

If bullying is undealt with, it can impact on academics, self-esteem, increase anxiety and unhappiness. Students, staff and parents must be proactive to end bullying. Do consider enrolling your child for our support group initiative on overcoming bullying! ; Where your child can enjoy a supportive community of friends while learning how to stay confident in a competitive social world.

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