Self-esteem is something with which people may struggle for many years of their lives. It is easy to see how people feel about themselves because they would definitely speak it through their gestures, words and behaviour.
So what is self-esteem?
Self- esteem is an individual’s understanding of themselves. What they think of themselves. Smith and Mackie defined it by saying "The self-concept is what we think about the self; self-esteem is the positive or negative evaluations of the self, as in how we feel about it."
Especially when it comes to children their self-esteem develops when they are young. Children who have been neglected and have faced trauma; they will have an unhealthy self-esteem. Children who have been bullied or have been compared to their siblings will find themselves constantly trying to measure up. This is a heavy weight to carry and it surfaces out in unhealthy mannerisms.
What are some things you will notice with a child that has an unhealthy self-esteem like?
Children who continuously compare themselves to others will be suffering from an unhealthy self – esteem. So also, who always are dwelling on their failures rather than their successes. They also lack confidence and they consistently are fearful and doubtful of their own abilities. They are very hard on themselves and highly critical of everything they do.
What the things you can see in a child that has a healthy self-esteem?
They are liked and accepted. They act and think very confidently of themselves and their achievements. They are confident and approach each situation with a confidence. They are very proud of their achievements and they think good of themselves after the end of a success. They believe in themselves and their ability to get through a particular aspect.
Does self-esteem really matter?
When children feel good about themselves, they are confident to try new things. They are most likely to do their best and also be adventurous. A healthy self-esteem often enables a child to handle failure with the right attitude. Self-esteem also helps the child to want to try at that failed attempt again.
Children that struggle with low self-esteem often find themselves struggling with making friends. They are afraid to try new things as they think they will fail and they will be the laughing stock of the group.
Development of self-esteem: This process starts as early as infancy. It develops over time. As they grow, they are able to do things on their own and that has a tremendous influence in building strong and healthy self-esteem.
Parents – you can develop your child’s self -esteem into a healthy one!
Some tips:
· Help your child learn to do things.
· Always demonstrate how it is done. Don’t assume anything.
· When you praise your child, make sure you do it in the right manner and in the right time.
· Live it that’s the best example.
· Look at the highlights of the child and not the failures. Celebrate the child’s achievements how ever small. Will help to build with small achievements.
Important: If it is imperative to support your child with counselling care if you notice that he or she is suffering from an unhealthy self – esteem. The therapist through games and play can identify what could be causing the stress. The therapist will be able to understand what is causing this behaviour and where it stems from, with the help of therapy the child will discover who he is and what his talents and abilities are.
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