Families of children with Autism can feel very isolated from community for various reasons. In light of the struggles their children have in coping with situations that are normal for everyone else, parents and caregivers of autistic children tend to be wary of big groups and unfamiliar places. This limits their social interactions and relationships to a very small group of people. This adds to their stress, because they are limited in what they can do, where they can go, who they can talk to and even in the time they have for themselves.
f you are wondering what you can do to help these families to be able to participate more in community and be more comfortable, here are some helpful tips:
Be mindful
When dealing with families with an autistic child, be mindful of the limitations they have. Parents of autistic children might avoid large crowds, unfamiliar places and loud gatherings. Keep these things in mind and do your best to work around these limitations
Modify your home environment
If you are inviting families with autistic children to your home, ask them in advance if there is anything you can do to make your home a more comfortable place for their child. Every child is different, so check before-hand to find out what specific triggers the child may have. Making this extra effort will make parents more comfortable and help them feel more accepted in the community.
Reach out
It is very difficult for parents of autistic children to have a steady social life. They avoid many people, places and situations that might make their child uncomfortable or anxious. Reach out to them as much as possible, ask them if you can visit them or plan trips with parents that can cater to the child’s interests as well.
Ask questions
Never assume that you know everything about an autistic child. It is okay to ask their parents questions about how to best care for them. No one knows how to take care of their children better than they do. Asking questions and showing interest and concern are ways that you can acknowledge and accommodate families with autistic children.
Offer to help
Offering to care for a child with autism, even if it is baby-sitting for a few hours will take more effort. The child has to be comfortable around you and you have to know how to take care of them, calm them down and know their schedule. The best way to do this is by spending time with the family. It might take a while before the parents are comfortable leaving their child with you, but it will help ease their burden. Having someone to call if they need a break or if there is an emergency lightens their load. It gives them the freedom to do the things they want to do as well. Having a network that they can trust with their child reduces anxiety.
Be Inclusive
Being inclusive is an important part of being an ally to minorities of all types. The same is true for autism. Invite the parent and their child to activities and encourage them to participate. It’s important to distinguish between being inclusive and tokenism. No one should invite autistic children to parties just because they want to be seen as “brave” or “inspirational.” Autistic people are not charity cases or items and don’t like to feel as such. Instead, connect with them and their parents genuinely and honestly. Teach children to be understanding of the issues their peers have. If the parent is inclusive, their children are likely to be more inclusive towards autistic friends as well.
Teach your Children about Autism
Parents with autistic children worry about a lot of things – one of these things is their ability to make connections and make friends. Teaching your own children about autism, teaching them to be accommodating, kind, patient and respectful helps a lot. When your child knows what autism is, they will be more understanding of their autistic friends. They are used to dealing with children who see the world the same way they do. Show them that there is another perspective and show them how to be respectful and understanding of this. Children learn a lot from their peers- and this goes for autistic children as well. They can learn a lot from your child and your child can learn a lot from them!
Don’t Judge
It’s hard enough being a parent. It’s even harder being a parent to a child with autism. Do not judge a parent for any perceived lack of control over their children or how they choose to raise their autistic child. They are likely struggling and just as frustrated as an observer may be. It’s also important not to write off autistic children as “stupid,” because they are not. In fact, there are certain tasks autistic children exceed at, such as solving complex problems, recognizing patterns and finding irregularities, among others.
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