Most of us carry wounds established during childhood, some of us carry wounds which emerged later on. When we were children, when hurt, we felt and outwardly expressed our emotions, but as we grew, there was less expression and more suppression of our feelings. As adults, we find it hard to deal with grief, loss and disappointment. Although we have a lot of intense feelings, we try hard to not even think about them. We don’t want to risk getting hurt from dealing with it. So, we pretend that none of it matters and that we’re fine. A lot of times we tell ourselves to not feel this emotion and that living would be a lot easier. Sometimes the world tells us to toughen up, that feeling emotions is a sign of weakness. We end up taking steps away from feeling because we’ve been told it is wrong. We then feel it becomes unsafe to be seen, to be heard and you begin to associate feeling any sort of emotion with rejection.
At some point, we began to believe that suppressing our emotions and feelings will protect us from being hurt. You wonder, ‘how can I be vulnerable and allow myself to feel if I never knew what it was like to feel safe?’
Not only does repression and suppression of emotions keep your flight-or-fight response fired up, you cannot function properly if you keep repressing or suppressing painful emotions. You have to “feel to heal” but if you were exposed to the full force of your unpleasant emotions, it would be intolerable. The pain would be too intense. It is impossible. Instead, there is a process called “pendulation.” The idea is that you allow yourself to be exposed to a level of emotions you can tolerate, pull back, and re-engage when you are ready. It is a lifelong process that eventually becomes automatic. Then instead of your energy being consumed by keeping a lid on your emotions, you are free to step into your life and thrive.
It starts with you. Stop minimizing your feelings and the associated emotions. It begins with you connecting with your disbelief, engaging in simple calming tools, and gradually teaching yourself the skills to fully feel the depths of your emotions in a healthy way. In other words, you will learn to efficiently process your emotions and also be nice to yourself. What is so rewarding about this whole process is that people not only break out of this toxic cycle but they often end up leading a life that they never knew was possible.
Have you ever wondered why you don’t want to feel unpleasant emotions? It is because your brain tells you, you are being physically threatened.
It’s going to hurt. And that’s okay. That acknowledgment itself is a wave of relief. Avoiding the pain and not feeling will only prolong it. Allow yourself to feel everything you’re feeling right now. Let the hurt move through you. Then you can move on. When we allow ourselves to feel our emotions, we’re often surprised by the level of comfort that comes in over a period of time.
When you fully grasp that feeling is healing, you’ll free your body from a lifetime of emotional “baggage” and start experiencing your life with a renewed sense of appreciation and presence.
Comentários