Grief is the response that the individual feels towards the loss of a person especially with someone that a bond or affection is established. When children are young it is difficult for them to understand or express what they are feeling.
For children they may experience a feeling of being lost during this season of grief. It could be a pet, a grandparent, a friend at school, or even a neighbour that has been friendly with the child. The grieving process is different for each child and their capacity to understand and process is varied. However, each child goes through a process.
Some children may understand death differently. Children may assume that they are the cause of the death. On the other hand, they may not be so bothered by death. They may express anger at the person who died in some sense the child thinks it is the fault of the person that they decided to leave. They would definitely need the help of a parent or older sibling to process the emotions they are feeling and going through.
As parents there are few things that can help the child to sail through this season of grief in a smooth manner.
It is important to note the place where this news is shared. It should be in a place where the child feels comfortable and safe in. The environment makes a big difference.
Another aspect that the parent needs to keep in mind is to allow the child to express his or her emotions freely. Gently encouraging the child to express his emotions is a good way to help the child grieve.
Be prepared to give a general understanding of death so that the child is not left with more doubts than clarity.
Sharing this news privately or with the people the child considers as safe is important. If the child sees a lot of crying and people grieving in different ways, the child may feel uncomfortable and will want to leave the place and therefore the emotional balance will be disrupted for the child.
Always make sure that the child feels free to ask you any question regarding this or just death itself at any time the child feels the need to clarify.
Be careful to keep the information simple, using big words like passes to another world may throw the child off in its understanding.
Make sure that routine is not largely disrupted and the child can experience some amount of normalcy around him or her.
It is important to remember the lovely memories about the individual who passed away, it will help the child bring to mind what she or he enjoyed with the individual.
It is important to reach out to a play therapist or a counsellor that is adept with children in case the child is withdrawn and extremely quiet. The different techniques used by play therapists will help children to release a lot of the pent up emotions within the child.
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