How you can change your behaviour and your environment to make sure that autistic children feel comfortable and supported?
Offer a gentle touch, empathy, and validate their feelings. From here, you can begin to guide children/ adolescents with compassion and authority, to use calming strategies to remain in control of their bodily responses to various stressors or environmental triggers (both external and internal triggers).
Be patient with them –
Autistic children struggle with things we may not understand, and it is difficult for them to tell us what is bothering them or why it is bothering them. If they are having a meltdown, be patient, wait for them to calm down before asking questions. Use simple language and try to use visual aids (pointing, nodding). A child coming out of a meltdown is still stressed so do not put pressure on them to answer your questions immediately.
Develop realistic expectations - Teach and interact at the child’s current level, rather than at what level you want him or her to be.
Give them choices - All children, including those with autism, like to feel a sense of control over their world. Many children benefit from having the choices limited to two to four options (depending on the child), as they get overwhelmed with too many choices and cannot decide. Examples of choices are: “Do you want to play a board game or watch TV,” “Do you want butter or jelly on your bagel,” “Do you want to wear the green or red shirt?” Again, children with language difficulties often have more success making choices when you show them the options or pictures of the options (e.g., hold up the red and green shirt and let them point to the one they want).
Make directions clear, short, and concrete - For example, if a child is throwing food at the table say, “eat your food” rather than “Be good at the table,” “Don’t throw your food” or “Would you stop that! You are always throwing your food.” For children with difficulty understanding language, showing them a picture or a visual demonstration of the behaviour you want to see, can be helpful.
Be supportive and encouraging -
When children/ adolescents react in the moment, they do so without thinking, and their survival center in the brain is in overdrive. Do not try to talk to them at this time because they cannot respond to logic or reason. Instead, stay calm, show empathy, help them become self-aware, and guide them through sensory experiences and calming strategies. In addition, celebrate and build a child’s strengths and successes, as every progress is an achievement.
Reduce unnecessary demands - Review children’s routines to make sure they are not overloaded. Too many responsibilities will increase stress and decrease children’s energy levels to regulate through overwhelming feelings. Provide access to breaks when needed —this will give him or her an opportunity to avoid difficult behaviours. Allow times and places for a child/ adolescent to do what he or she wants. Demand from children as much as they are able to handle.
Do not try to discipline a child with autism – Parents try very hard to figure out how to communicate with their children and teach them how to behave. Over time, they have figured out how to communicate with their child. Since every child on the spectrum is unique, you may not know what works and what doesn’t. If there is an issue, try to help calm the child down but leave the discipline to the parents.
Communicate with parents and other significant adults in the child’s life to identify coping mechanisms or methods that help the child. Every child is different and it takes a village to watch them and identify what works for them, especially when they are not able to do this for themselves. Once you have figured out something that works, communicate with the child’s ‘village’ so that, as far as possible, there will always be someone who knows specific ways to help the child.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help – You do not have to have all the answers. If a child is exhibiting behaviour you don’t know how to handle, reach out to professionals, parents or teachers for help. A fresh perspective or a similar experience with other children might give you ideas on how to move forward.
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