At some point in life, we all have questioned ourselves whether we are doing well enough or
are capable to face the uncertainties that might come up. The choices and decisions that we
make may at times make us think twice about them and make us feel we’re not doing good
enough. Self-doubt can result from irrational fears of not deserving one’s accomplishments,
undermining one’s own goals and values, and the fear of making wrong decisions. Lack of
confidence or feeling of the incapability in doing things can also lead to self-doubt. Self-
doubt can prevent us from realizing our full potential as people commonly deal with self-
doubt by sabotaging their chances of success.
As a therapist feelings of incompetence or self-doubt may arise from professional burnout,
higher levels of stress, lack of knowledge, and strength in counselling relationships. While
working with a client the therapist may encounter unexpected moments of self-doubt which
are often set off by “triggering events.” Triggers refer to things that might affect one’s
emotional state by causing extreme overwhelm or distress. This might lead to a lack of being
present in the moment, not knowing where to go or what to say next in the session.
Everyone has some emotional triggers and each person experience it in different ways. For
some it might be reminders of uncomfortable topics, unwanted memories or another person’s words or actions. Common situations that might trigger intense emotions include: rejection, betrayal, unjust treatment, challenged beliefs, helplessness or loss of control, being excluded or ignored, loss of independence etc.
Self-doubt is the secret weapon for blooming. It can be used as a performance enhancer to
combat anxiety and improve our performance and preparation. It motivates us to be open to
new experiences, to experiment, and find alternative ways to deal with a problem.
Few reasons for doubting oneself include:
Past experiences and mistakes.
Childhood upbringing.
Comparison with others.
New challenges.
Fear of failure/success.
How to deal with self-doubt and triggers:
Restructure your thoughts- involves cognitive restructuring that helps one to retrain their mind to produce realistic and helpful thoughts instead of negative unhelpful ones.
Spending time with people who believe in you- these people provide the necessary
Support and encouragement and make conscious efforts to make you believe in yourself.
Develop a sense of purpose.
Personal therapy or counselling provides a non- judgmental space to identify triggering situations and explore potential reason behind your triggers.
Doing the right kind of comparison.
Practice self-compassion.
Keeping a journal- writing down things that makes you question yourself and reviewing it weekly enable you to develop ways to improve yourself.
Be aware of your trigger and track the origin of the triggers.
Deep breathing/ meditation allows focusing your attention on something totally different. By doing so, allows one to clear out the mind and look at things from a new and fresh perspective.
Calling on your social support- getting advice and reassurance from others can improve our self-confidence and keep us motivated.
Lastly keep a self-gratitude diary- gratitude diaries basically involve spending a few minutes t at the end of the day to note down a few things that you’re grateful for.
It is common and normal to doubt oneself, but you need to understand that staying stuck and panicking for too long won’t do any good.
Imagine how much you can achieve once you stop doubting yourself. It is time to stop being suspicious of your own talents that are hidden inside you and start embracing them. The strength lies in shutting down the voice in your head that says “I CAN’T.” To bloom, one must learn not to fear self-doubt but to embrace it as a naturally occurring opportunity for growth and improvement.
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